all my life, i’ve been the baby of the family. my grandparents are the old ones, my parents and their siblings are in the middle, while my sister, my brother and I are the young ones with our whole lives in front of us, during which we will presumably figure out everything that those a generation older have already.
and then, one day, all that changed.
It was sunday night, 3 o’clock in the morning, and I was staying up to watch the Giants game (the very phenomenon for which this blog is named, in case you were wondering). During halftime, I decided to give my dad a call since I figured he was watching the game, and he broke the big news.
My grandparents are now great-grandparents and my uncles are great uncles. My parents are grandparents, my brother and I are uncles, but most importantly, my sister is now a mother thanks to the birth of Clara Gail Burris, 7 lbs 14 ounces, born September 14th. Check her out:
Isn’t she adorable? Aren’t you jealous I get to play with an infant when I come home for christmas? Isn’t this pretty much the coolest thing in the world? Here’s what I’m thinking for a christmas present:
Wouldn’t she look great in those? How long before she learns to say “Uncle David”? She’s going to love me, right? Aren’t I perfect uncle material? Along those lines, am I supposed to grow a creepy mustache and wear short shorts now, or is that only what my uncles did when I was a little kid in the 80’s?
Chris Rock used to say you got every kind of uncle: your gay uncle, your alcoholic uncle, your stealing uncle, and your molester uncle. ( “Everybody’s got that one molester uncle.”) Which one will I be? I’d say it’s pretty much a tossup at this point.
Does being an uncle mean I’m supposed to get serious and start taking steps towards being a responsible human being? Before my niece was born, I seriously anticipated having such emotions, but now that it’s happened, I’m happy to report that I feel nothing of the sort. If anything, I’m happy to get a glimpse of what parenthood is like through the eyes of my sister and brother-in-law without having to do a damn thing myself. It’s like having a friend who goes to law school straight out of college, so they can tell you how miserable it is before you make the same mistake. Or, if they love law school, they can explain how awesome it is so you can join in the fun!
All joking aside, congratulations to Heather and Darren, who I’m confident will make awesome parents. Baby Clara will have every opportunity to experience what’s good about life. I am thrilled to have a supporting role in what will be an incredible adventure for the new family.
ps. for more pictures of baby clara and her family, check out her blog! footmassage.wordpress.com